Know Your Stinkbug Enemy

What We Know
Stinkbugs are ugly and they release a noxious smell when pinched, poked, prodded or smashed. They were first reported in Pennsylvania in 1996 but have spread nationally to at least 26 other states and are a pervasive problem in Maryland. Stinkbugs were originally dismissed as a mere nuisance, but came under public scrutiny when they began destroying crops and invading homes. My home appears to have become stinkbug central.

Scientists have been working since 2004 to find a way to control stinkbugs. They are still searching for an answer. In the meantime, many of us find ourselves on the front line of this ongoing war. It is us vs. them. And predictions are that in 2013,  we in Maryland will again face a stinkbug invasion of “Biblical proportions.”

Faulty Intel We Have Been Provided

1. “They are not harmful to people, houses, or pets. They do not bite, sting, suck blood, or spread disease and they don’t eat or bore into wood.” (University of Maryland Extension)

2. “During the winter months the brown marmorated stink bug enters a type of hibernation called diapause. During this time they do not feed and do not reproduce. In fact, females are incapable of reproducing until early spring.” (Rutgers)

3. “Native to Asia, the brown marmorated stink bug was first identified in Allentown, PA in 2001, though sightings may date back to 1996.” (Maryland Department of Agriculture)

Accurate Intel We Have Discovered

1. More than one of those who have fought this battle have been bitten by this pernicious creature. Many reliable sources report that stinkbugs do, indeed, bite. Perhaps it is actually a pinch from their sharp feeding tubes, but it serves the same purpose as a bite – to inflict pain and damage to those who oppose them.

2. In a house that is warm, stinkbugs have been found to be active throughout the winter; we have not been able to relax our guard for a single moment. We fear that these insectile opponents CAN mate in the winter, since juveniles are frequently found in homes during the coldest months.  And there is conflicting and frightening intel to support this: “In parts of sub-tropical China, records indicate from four to possibly six generations per year” (Penn State).

3. Many reports have pointed the finger at China as the source of this evil. It seemed that this could have been the stinkbugs’ first step in an all-out offensive. But as we have fought against this hostile enemy, it has become clear that stinkbugs are far more insidious than even China could have created. We have come to the inescapable conclusion that these insectoids are more than a new type of biological weapon unleashed upon us by our known enemies. They are in fact a new enemy, with powers of survival and reproduction that go far beyond anything previously discovered on Earth. We have come to suspect, in fact, that stinkbugs come from beyond – and their goal is to totally destroy us and take our place as the dominant life form on this planet!

©Lydia Whitney 2011

Comments

  • Jen  On March 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    They also squirt if they even “feel” threatened… Yesterday one tried to sneak up on me… They are EVIL and must be destroyed!!!

    Let me know what I can do to help aid the fight against these “things”

  • Elise  On April 26, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    They absolutely do “bite”! I have been assaulted several times while asleep – it hurts A LOT and burns like an acid burn.

    Jen is right – they squirt if they “feel” threatened. I used to pick them up and gently put them down outside until (a) I found out they were INVADERS destroying our crops, and (b) I found out they sprayed me regardless.

    DEATH TO THE INVADERS!

What are your thoughts?

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